Tag Archives: stress

Split dreams

They were college sweethearts who seemed happily married. Three years after they tied the knot, Mayuri says she felt all knotted up. Even her husband Rakesh, an architect, felt that the duo’s relationship was radically altered. As Mayuri felt that Rakesh was more attached to his laptop, the young man himself attributed the broken marriage to deadline pressures at work. Both, in their early 30s, feel they are mature enough to take their own decisions.
In fact, soon after filing for a divorce petition at one of the four family courts in Bangalore, the couple headed to the coffee joint Koshys on St. Marks Road to celebrate their separation over a quick south Indian kaapi. “It was separation by mutual consent,” says Rakesh, “we couldn’t make it as husband and wife, but will remain friends.”
Not all cases of marital problems dogging India’s Silicon Valley end in such civility. On August 13, the police arrested top Infosys executive Satish Gupta, 32, for killing his wife Priyanka, 28, who was a schoolteacher. The police claim that Satish, in jail now, told them they developed serious differences after she forced him to separate from his parents. When he told her he wanted a divorce, she threatened to drag him and his parents to jail with a dowry harassment case. That is allegedly when he decided to act in cold blood: strangling her first, and then slitting her throat with a kitchen knife.
Though extreme, it does reflect the kind of marital stress ambitious professionals are facing in their high-pressure jobs. As if the suicide-capital tag was not enough, officials are now grappling with ways to stamp out the new virus eating away at healthy homes. In the last two years alone, nearly 4,000 divorce petitions were filed-a huge jump over previous years: 1,200 in 2004 to a three-fold jump in 2008 and rising. The IT sector and it-enabled services like BPOs are the biggest employer of youth, aged between 20 and late 30.
The backlog continues to grow. Almost 25 to 30 petitions involving matrimonial disputes are filed in a day. Three more family courts are being planned in months to come to cope with the load. Karnataka Law Minister Suresh Kumar, shocked by the divorce statistics, is traveling to Chennai to study the evening courts that have lessened the number of pending cases. “Cases hanging fire only cause more damage to the already affected parties, elders and the children,” says Kumar. He is also planning to introduce weekend courts to address the problem.
Infosys founder N.R. Narayana Murthy’s wife Sudha says: “Right in the beginning Murthy made it clear that one of us can work and the other had to run the family. Not that I was any less qualified but am glad I made the decision to stay at home. The choice was intentional.” Sudha is a qualified computer science engineer and the first woman to join the all-male Tata auto plant in Pune before she and her husband settled in Bangalore. With both men and women earning well, women sometimes earning more, pressures on marriage start early and often end in an early divorce.
A young globetrotting software executive says her marriage is on the rocks because she is unable to spend time with her husband. Both travel a lot and one of them has to cut down on work. And both are not sure who will do that-and that inevitably drives them to lawyers like P.B. Appiah, whose hands are full. “We simply have no clue how to deal with the rising number of disputes. Today’s generation faces a new kind of challenge both in terms of work schedules, relationships and life in general,” says Appiah.
Psychologists like Hannah Samuel feel stress kicks in during the early years of the marriage when couples in IT jobs have to confront the challenges of juggling two or three careers and balancing family and work. “There is simply no time to communicate. They just get married to their jobs; drag on till the D-word hits them.” Bangalore’s Family Welfare Centre Director Father Martin Anthony makes marriage classes compulsory for couples waiting to get married, where they are counseled on how to manage money, in-laws or work-life balance. District Judge and director of Bangalore Mediation Centre, Justice K.N. Phaneendra, whose centre has handled nearly 5,000 divorce cases since 2007, throws his hands up as couples have no qualms about divorce now.
India’s Silicon Valley may be the country’s showpiece sector but what’s not shown enough is the troubles of young married techies trying to juggle high pressure careers, deadlines and a normal marriage. Clearly, no software has been written yet to protect them from the marital virus.
“To cope with the increasing rush at the family courts we have decided to launch weekend courts, perhaps for the first time in India.”Suresh Kumar, Karnataka law minister.
I came across the above facts from TOI site and  could not help myself from sharing with you.

Most of us are running a race… a blind, reckless race… a race to achieve and acquire. Our identity is defined by our professional success and material acquisitions.

Somewhere along the way, during this mad race, we tend to completely neglect the other aspects of our lives, which tend to fall apart. We develop into misbalanced humans. The worst part is that this is becoming the norm rather than an exception.

Is it possible to reverse the trend?
Is there anything wrong with our education and value system?
Can anything be done or are we fighting a lost cause?

Vaishali Parekh


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Manage your depression… naturally

Being able to manage stress efficiently is among the best life-skills you can possess. If you possess effective stress management skills, you’ll enjoy a better quality of life and keep yourself healthy, even if it’s knowing how to cope with financial stress or having to handle the loss of loved ones, a marital split, relocation and stress with your job.
It can take a while to acquire the skills for dealing with stress efficiently but here comes three simple, highly-effective stress management tips that will enable you to reduce stress and anxiety quickly.

1. Keep An Eye On The Plates – When you’re in the middle of coping with a stressful event, it is crucial to not add to the stress and take on more pressure. Adding to an already full plate will merely increase the pressure and stress levels will soar making it much more difficult to remain in control of events. Think of it like spinning plates. As more and more plates are added, it becomes harder to keep each one spinning enough and plates start to fall to the ground and smash!

Give your attention to that which has to be done and resist the urge to add to the pressure. Imperative: Only decide to proceed with any life-changing decisions when you have stress or anxiety or depression thoroughly in check.

2. Indecision – Indecision is, without doubt, a contributor to stress and depression. It is an issue because hesitating about a decision draws out uncertainty. Dealing with uncertainty is very difficult if you are highly stressed, anxious or in a depressive episode. So, not only is it important to make a decision, it’s also crucial that once you have made a decision, you go through with it. What techniques are useful to help with decision making? Copy each alternative onto a sheet of paper divided into 2 columns, one for the plus points, one for the minuses.

Share responsibilities and obtain different points of view by consulting with family or good friends. Don’t rush, take your time, as much as you need to ensure you have all the facts. Once you feel ready, make your choice and follow it through. No looking back, just focus on making your decision work. Bear in mind that if you always looked behind you when you’re walking, you’d crash into things. Look forwards, not backwards and use this stress management technique with the next tip.

3. CrossOver Time – The one constant throughout life is change and as situations change – for example, relationship breakdown or losing a loved one – stress can be triggered and it is possible to enter into anxiety or depression. Expecting to adapt to your new circumstances right from the off is at the root of this because it puts a great strain on you. At such times, you can feel awkward and unsettled, and you can even start to feel like things have changed for the worse.

Allowing yourself plenty of crossover time is an excellent stress management technique to help you handle major changes to your circumstances. You’ll reduce stress significantly if you recognize that adapting to new situations can take a while and allocate enough crossover time so you keep stress and its related illness at bay.

Put each one of these effective stress management tips into action and they will help you to effectively handle the stress triggered by a change to your circumstances.

To discover more powerful, highly-effective stress management tips, techniques and methods to help you relieve stress, anxiety and depression quickly, naturally and permanently.

Click Here Now

Vaishali Parekh


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Filed under health, Healthy LifeStyle

Chronically Tired?

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Z z z . . .

Most of us have noticed at sometime or the other, that the feeling of tiredness and fatigue just refuses to go away, no matter what we do. We eat, we sleep, thinking it would go away, but it doesn’t. Reason to worry, isn’t it?

We visit the doctor and he prescribes some medication, but our body does not respond. Reason to worry some more! Now what do we do?

A common and often misunderstood cause of constant fatigue is a condition called adrenal fatigue. Since very few doctors recognize and treat adrenal fatigue, millions of people live with feeling chronically exhausted and confused about why that’s so. What makes this particularly disturbing is that once adrenal fatigue is diagnosed, it can be treated and resolved and people start to feel better in just a few months’ time.

Why am I sooo tired?

The adrenals (small walnut-sized glands that sit on top of the kidneys) produce numerous hormones — adrenaline and others — that impact bodily functions including blood pressure, heart rate, metabolism, liver function and immunity. They also produce two crucial stress hormones — DHEA and cortisol — whose job it is to balance the body’s response to stressful influences, including blood sugar fluctuations. Living with stress — whether mental, physical or emotional, for a protracted period result in a situation where the need for a constant supply of these two hormones outstrips the adrenals’ production capacity. This deficiency dulls cognitive function, energy levels and, of course, our ability to handle stress. It also slows the immune response and with it the ability to fight off infections and even possibly cancer. DHEA and cortisol interact in complex ways that affect many functions — deficiencies can contribute to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, weight gain, fatigue, allergies, infections, mood disorders and poor libido.

Am I suffering from Adrenal Fatigue?

Fatigue is just one adrenal fatigue symptom. If you are chronically tired and have any of the following, you may want to consider asking your doctor for a blood or saliva test to determine whether you have adrenal fatigue:

  • Morning fatigue
  • Mood swings
  • Light-headedness after standing up
  • Decreased sex drive
  • Inability to focus
  • Memory problems
  • Body aches, including pain in the lower back
  • Craving for salt and/or sugar
  • Slower recovery from illness than is usual for you.

Since mainstream medical practitioners are slow or fail to recognize adrenal fatigue, it is suggested that those who think they may have it should seek out naturopathic physicians.

How to fix?

Sooo tired

Sooo tired

Once adrenal fatigue is diagnosed, treatment is multi-pronged, including a combination of nutrients and lifestyle changes:

  • Stress reduction. Not surprisingly, your first task is to review what’s causing all the stress in your life so that you can determine what changes need to be made to reduce it.
  • Get more sleep. You need plenty of high-quality, restorative sleep. For those who have trouble falling asleep or who find themselves waking up in the night, 0.5 mg to 3 mg of melatonin, the “sleep” hormone, or 100 mg of the amino acid 5-HTP an hour before bedtime, is prescribed to help the body prepare for sleep. Ask your doctor which you should take.
  • Adjust your diet. People with adrenal fatigue often have blood sugar swings and cravings for sweets, so it’s very important to have breakfast every day and to eat small, healthy snacks between meals. He advises eating plenty of whole-grain foods and protein, including almonds, walnuts and macadamia nuts, and avoiding processed foods and simple sugars, including refined grains, fruit juices and, of course, sugary sodas. Also stay away from caffeinated beverages and alcohol. And if you have low blood pressure, which often results from adrenal fatigue and further contributes to fatigue, do be sure you are getting enough salt, which helps maintain blood volume and proper circulation. However, don’t go overboard — 2,400 mg per day of sodium from all sources is usually about right.
  • Exercise — in moderation. While exercise helps regulate stress hormones, too much will exhaust adrenal fatigue patients further. Patients are advised to start by walking 15 minutes a day, adding time as symptoms improve until reaching 45 minutes per day, but again, keeping it to a moderately intense level. Reduce the amount of exercise if afterward you find yourself feeling more tired rather than less — the goal is to increase overall energy.


To help speed recovery, the following nutritional supplements are advised:

  • Vitamin B5 — (pantothenic acid) is especially important for stress-hormone production… 500 mg of B5, three times a day is often prescribed. A good multivitamin (or B-complex) will supply enough of the other B vitamins needed.
  • Vitamin C — typically 1,000 mg to 2,000 mg twice daily is prescribed, but reduce this dose if loose stools develop.
  • Adrenal glandular extract (AGE) — made from cow, pig or sheep adrenals, AGE contains growth factors that promote cell healing and also has nutrients to support gland function and repair. Take one to two tablets daily without food, and reduce the dosage if you become jittery or have trouble sleeping.
  • Ashwagandha — this herb, popular in Ayurvedic medicine, helps normalize adrenal functioning. Very effective and my personal recommendation.

Hormone therapy consisting of DHEA, cortisol or other hormones and supplements, is used to treat severe adrenal fatigue, but such measures require the supervision of a physician who is well practiced in the therapy.

Effective adrenal fatigue treatment ends up being an intensive self-care regimen in which you ratchet back the unreasonable demands you’ve been making on your mind and body. Fortunately, given time to recover, the adrenals are able to regain their strength… and with it, your natural energy will return.

Vaishali Parekh


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Hired help to stay healthy

A month ago I realized that it was becoming very hard for me to keep on maintaining and updating my site all by myself. Of course my hubby is always there to help me out but it was proving too much for him also. He has his own professional assignments and on top of that maintaining my site was a bit tough for him. So we both decided that we need to hire a developer who would remove some load from our shoulders. This was the only way we could manage stress.

I started sending word out over the internet about my need and the response was beyond my wildest expectations. I received around 200 resumes and it took a lot of time for me to go through every one of them. I wanted to give everybody a fair chance and wanted to select the best.

Ultimately a shortlist of 80 resumes was ready with me. I started interacting with those 80 prospective candidates via email and the list was further shortened to 20. Then I began interacting with these guys over the phone and the list was further shortened to 5. Finally these 5 guys were invited for personal interviews and out of them one was selected. Whew!

The entire process took a month. But at the end I was left with a feeling of sadness and a heavy heart. I felt very sorry for those to whom I had to say no. But this is life I guess. Happiness and sorrow both go hand in hand.

From 1st Feb 2010 the new recruit would join me officially as a web and content developer. He would also assist me in promotional work and I am sure he would be a great stress reliever for me.

So my dear viewers, I am confident that from now onwards I would be able to give you much more.


Vaishali Parekh


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Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep

Is good sleep a distant dream for you? Something you are madly craving for but seem to be so elusive? Do you spend most of the snoozing hours tossing and turning in bed? Read on…


1. Wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day-even on weekends. When your sleep cycle has a regular rhythm, you will feel better.
2. Develop a pre-bedtime routine, like reading or taking a shower before retiring to bed, and follow it religiously every night. A sleeper needs to wind down for the night and establishing a soothing ritual will give your body the clues it needs to get ready to fall asleep. You could even have a light bedtime snack, like a glass of warm milk or a banana, to help you prepare for sleep.
3. Follow a regular daily schedule. Eat meals at the same time, exercise regularly, do your daily chores as usual. The more you can accustom your body to a set routine during the day the more likely your body will be prepared to fall asleep on schedule every night.
4. If you are on any kind of medication, stick to the meal and medication timings. Any irregularity in either of these can lead to sleep disorders since it involves chemicals and hormones. Maintaining a regular diet while on medication is also as important for health.
5. Every day prepare a list of things you are supposed to do the next day. This way you will have planned the day and will not lie awake in bed worrying over the next day’s tasks. Ideally, you should plan at least two hours before your sleep time. This will give you enough buffer time to reschedule things, if required.
6. Is your bedroom sleep friendly and comfortable? If it is too bright, hot, loud or uncomfortable, it will make it hard for you to fall and stay asleep. Make sure your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable. A hot room can be uncomfortable. A cooler room along with enough blankets to stay warm is recommended. If noise bothers you, wear earplugs. Even a little bit of light in the room can affect your sleep, since light leads to the secretion pf hormones that regulate your sleep cycle. If you can’t install heavy blinds on your windows or get your bed partner to read in another room at night, wearing a sleep mask might help.
7. Do make sure you have a comfortable mattress and pillows. If you suffer from back problems or stiffness, there are many bed products available to support your body and help make you feel more comfortable. If you sleep on your side, a wedge between your knees can make a world of difference. If you sleep on your back, a wedge under your knees can relieve lower back tension.



1. Don’t go to bed if you are not drowsy. This reduces the time you spend in bed.
2. Don’t stay in bed if you have not fallen asleep within 20 minutes and don’t feel tired. Go to another room and engage in a quiet relaxing activity. Just don’t fall asleep there. Once you have started feeling drowsy return to your bed. If you still don’t fall asleep, repeat the process.
3. Don’t use your bed for anything other than sleeping (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, like sex and recovering from illness). If you read, eat, work and do everything else sitting in your bed, your brain might confuse your sleep time.
4. Don’t nap during the day. If you must nap, do it at the same time every day and don’t let it last for more than an hour and make sure you are up and awake by 3 pm. Otherwise, the nap may affect your ability to fall asleep that night.
5. Don’t have big meals right before bed time. They can affect your digestive system and make you feel sick.
6. Don’t do intensive exercise any later than early afternoon or mild exercise any later than late afternoon. Yes, even though many of us hit the gym only after work, those with sleep disorders need to strictly adhere to this rule. Doing stretches before bed time, however, may aid sleep.
7. Don’t have caffeine, nicotine and alcohol in the evening. That means steer clear of coffee, tea, soft drinks and chocolate. Nicotine is a stimulant, so it pushes your body to stay awake. If you are used to smoking every few hours or more during the day, your body may experience withdrawal symptoms in the middle of the night, which can interfere with good sleep.
8. Don’t consume too much liquid before bed time-chances are that you will be woken up by nature’s call.
9. Don’t use alcohol to help you fall asleep. It can disturb your sleep after just a few hours. Even if it doesn’t prompt you to wake up in the middle of the night, you are more likely to awaken the next morning not feeling refreshed, because alcohol also keeps you from getting quality sleep. Also, avoid alcohol when on medication.
10. Don’t let a pet interfere with your sleep. It can be delightful sleeping with a pet, unless your animal companion is keeping you awake.
11. Don’t let a partner interfere with your sleep. If your bedmate tosses and turns while sleeping or gets up at night, you might consider twin beds, so that you are less likely to feel the disturbance.


Happy sleeping!!!

Vaishali Parekh


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