Tag Archives: lifestyle

Split dreams

They were college sweethearts who seemed happily married. Three years after they tied the knot, Mayuri says she felt all knotted up. Even her husband Rakesh, an architect, felt that the duo’s relationship was radically altered. As Mayuri felt that Rakesh was more attached to his laptop, the young man himself attributed the broken marriage to deadline pressures at work. Both, in their early 30s, feel they are mature enough to take their own decisions.
In fact, soon after filing for a divorce petition at one of the four family courts in Bangalore, the couple headed to the coffee joint Koshys on St. Marks Road to celebrate their separation over a quick south Indian kaapi. “It was separation by mutual consent,” says Rakesh, “we couldn’t make it as husband and wife, but will remain friends.”
Not all cases of marital problems dogging India’s Silicon Valley end in such civility. On August 13, the police arrested top Infosys executive Satish Gupta, 32, for killing his wife Priyanka, 28, who was a schoolteacher. The police claim that Satish, in jail now, told them they developed serious differences after she forced him to separate from his parents. When he told her he wanted a divorce, she threatened to drag him and his parents to jail with a dowry harassment case. That is allegedly when he decided to act in cold blood: strangling her first, and then slitting her throat with a kitchen knife.
Though extreme, it does reflect the kind of marital stress ambitious professionals are facing in their high-pressure jobs. As if the suicide-capital tag was not enough, officials are now grappling with ways to stamp out the new virus eating away at healthy homes. In the last two years alone, nearly 4,000 divorce petitions were filed-a huge jump over previous years: 1,200 in 2004 to a three-fold jump in 2008 and rising. The IT sector and it-enabled services like BPOs are the biggest employer of youth, aged between 20 and late 30.
The backlog continues to grow. Almost 25 to 30 petitions involving matrimonial disputes are filed in a day. Three more family courts are being planned in months to come to cope with the load. Karnataka Law Minister Suresh Kumar, shocked by the divorce statistics, is traveling to Chennai to study the evening courts that have lessened the number of pending cases. “Cases hanging fire only cause more damage to the already affected parties, elders and the children,” says Kumar. He is also planning to introduce weekend courts to address the problem.
Infosys founder N.R. Narayana Murthy’s wife Sudha says: “Right in the beginning Murthy made it clear that one of us can work and the other had to run the family. Not that I was any less qualified but am glad I made the decision to stay at home. The choice was intentional.” Sudha is a qualified computer science engineer and the first woman to join the all-male Tata auto plant in Pune before she and her husband settled in Bangalore. With both men and women earning well, women sometimes earning more, pressures on marriage start early and often end in an early divorce.
A young globetrotting software executive says her marriage is on the rocks because she is unable to spend time with her husband. Both travel a lot and one of them has to cut down on work. And both are not sure who will do that-and that inevitably drives them to lawyers like P.B. Appiah, whose hands are full. “We simply have no clue how to deal with the rising number of disputes. Today’s generation faces a new kind of challenge both in terms of work schedules, relationships and life in general,” says Appiah.
Psychologists like Hannah Samuel feel stress kicks in during the early years of the marriage when couples in IT jobs have to confront the challenges of juggling two or three careers and balancing family and work. “There is simply no time to communicate. They just get married to their jobs; drag on till the D-word hits them.” Bangalore’s Family Welfare Centre Director Father Martin Anthony makes marriage classes compulsory for couples waiting to get married, where they are counseled on how to manage money, in-laws or work-life balance. District Judge and director of Bangalore Mediation Centre, Justice K.N. Phaneendra, whose centre has handled nearly 5,000 divorce cases since 2007, throws his hands up as couples have no qualms about divorce now.
India’s Silicon Valley may be the country’s showpiece sector but what’s not shown enough is the troubles of young married techies trying to juggle high pressure careers, deadlines and a normal marriage. Clearly, no software has been written yet to protect them from the marital virus.
“To cope with the increasing rush at the family courts we have decided to launch weekend courts, perhaps for the first time in India.”Suresh Kumar, Karnataka law minister.
I came across the above facts from TOI site and  could not help myself from sharing with you.

Most of us are running a race… a blind, reckless race… a race to achieve and acquire. Our identity is defined by our professional success and material acquisitions.

Somewhere along the way, during this mad race, we tend to completely neglect the other aspects of our lives, which tend to fall apart. We develop into misbalanced humans. The worst part is that this is becoming the norm rather than an exception.

Is it possible to reverse the trend?
Is there anything wrong with our education and value system?
Can anything be done or are we fighting a lost cause?

Vaishali Parekh


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Filed under Personal

Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep

Is good sleep a distant dream for you? Something you are madly craving for but seem to be so elusive? Do you spend most of the snoozing hours tossing and turning in bed? Read on…


1. Wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day-even on weekends. When your sleep cycle has a regular rhythm, you will feel better.
2. Develop a pre-bedtime routine, like reading or taking a shower before retiring to bed, and follow it religiously every night. A sleeper needs to wind down for the night and establishing a soothing ritual will give your body the clues it needs to get ready to fall asleep. You could even have a light bedtime snack, like a glass of warm milk or a banana, to help you prepare for sleep.
3. Follow a regular daily schedule. Eat meals at the same time, exercise regularly, do your daily chores as usual. The more you can accustom your body to a set routine during the day the more likely your body will be prepared to fall asleep on schedule every night.
4. If you are on any kind of medication, stick to the meal and medication timings. Any irregularity in either of these can lead to sleep disorders since it involves chemicals and hormones. Maintaining a regular diet while on medication is also as important for health.
5. Every day prepare a list of things you are supposed to do the next day. This way you will have planned the day and will not lie awake in bed worrying over the next day’s tasks. Ideally, you should plan at least two hours before your sleep time. This will give you enough buffer time to reschedule things, if required.
6. Is your bedroom sleep friendly and comfortable? If it is too bright, hot, loud or uncomfortable, it will make it hard for you to fall and stay asleep. Make sure your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable. A hot room can be uncomfortable. A cooler room along with enough blankets to stay warm is recommended. If noise bothers you, wear earplugs. Even a little bit of light in the room can affect your sleep, since light leads to the secretion pf hormones that regulate your sleep cycle. If you can’t install heavy blinds on your windows or get your bed partner to read in another room at night, wearing a sleep mask might help.
7. Do make sure you have a comfortable mattress and pillows. If you suffer from back problems or stiffness, there are many bed products available to support your body and help make you feel more comfortable. If you sleep on your side, a wedge between your knees can make a world of difference. If you sleep on your back, a wedge under your knees can relieve lower back tension.



1. Don’t go to bed if you are not drowsy. This reduces the time you spend in bed.
2. Don’t stay in bed if you have not fallen asleep within 20 minutes and don’t feel tired. Go to another room and engage in a quiet relaxing activity. Just don’t fall asleep there. Once you have started feeling drowsy return to your bed. If you still don’t fall asleep, repeat the process.
3. Don’t use your bed for anything other than sleeping (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, like sex and recovering from illness). If you read, eat, work and do everything else sitting in your bed, your brain might confuse your sleep time.
4. Don’t nap during the day. If you must nap, do it at the same time every day and don’t let it last for more than an hour and make sure you are up and awake by 3 pm. Otherwise, the nap may affect your ability to fall asleep that night.
5. Don’t have big meals right before bed time. They can affect your digestive system and make you feel sick.
6. Don’t do intensive exercise any later than early afternoon or mild exercise any later than late afternoon. Yes, even though many of us hit the gym only after work, those with sleep disorders need to strictly adhere to this rule. Doing stretches before bed time, however, may aid sleep.
7. Don’t have caffeine, nicotine and alcohol in the evening. That means steer clear of coffee, tea, soft drinks and chocolate. Nicotine is a stimulant, so it pushes your body to stay awake. If you are used to smoking every few hours or more during the day, your body may experience withdrawal symptoms in the middle of the night, which can interfere with good sleep.
8. Don’t consume too much liquid before bed time-chances are that you will be woken up by nature’s call.
9. Don’t use alcohol to help you fall asleep. It can disturb your sleep after just a few hours. Even if it doesn’t prompt you to wake up in the middle of the night, you are more likely to awaken the next morning not feeling refreshed, because alcohol also keeps you from getting quality sleep. Also, avoid alcohol when on medication.
10. Don’t let a pet interfere with your sleep. It can be delightful sleeping with a pet, unless your animal companion is keeping you awake.
11. Don’t let a partner interfere with your sleep. If your bedmate tosses and turns while sleeping or gets up at night, you might consider twin beds, so that you are less likely to feel the disturbance.


Happy sleeping!!!

Vaishali Parekh


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Filed under Healthy LifeStyle

Everlasting Youth-Everlasting Happiness

All of us wish to hold on to youth and the energy and zing associated with it. We all crave for it. But are we doing enough except applying a brighter make-up and dyeing grey hair? Maybe not. Don’t you think you should get moving?
Here are a few ways with the help of which we can stay young for a long, long time to come!

Know Your Body
Before we start exercising to shed flab, we should find out the root cause of the problem so that we can win the battle of the bulge. The excess flab may be due to poor metabolism. Our appetite is controlled by hormones produced by our body and certain chemicals produced by our brains. We should strive to balance our hormones and consume omegas, pumpkin oil, hemp oil, flaxseed oil as they help reduce fat.

Check Inflammation
Inflammation is our body’s natural reaction to injury or infection. Inflammation may sometimes lead to weight gain, which gives rise to lethargy, high blood sugar levels and hormonal imbalances. This can be checked by consuming naturally processed grape seed extract (an excellent antioxidant), green tea extract and mineral extracts.

Combat Oxidative Stress
Oxidative stress can occur either due to a decrease in antioxidant level or due to an excess of free radicals or both. If the living condition surrounding us is polluted or unhygienic, we are working in stressful conditions and not drinking enough water, we might be victims of oxidative stress. It can cause cellular damage, thus accelerating wrinkling and hair loss and might also result in diabetes and weight gain. To combat this, we should increase intake of colorful plant food, green tea and herbal tea to fight it.

Watch your Thyroid
Thyroid is the master metabolic regulator. Its malfunctioning leads to a gamut of problems like depression, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy complications, dry skin and hair, high cholesterol, heart trouble, joint pain and menstrual irregularities. Consume cabbage, sweet potato, corn and pearl millet to boost thyroid functioning.

Liver and Blood
To detoxify our liver, we should consume soy protein, whey water, broccoli, pomegranate, phytonutrients and grape seed extract.

Watch What You Eat
Keeping a watch on what exactly we are eating is extremely important to our overall well being. We should ban processed food from our diet and go for natural foods. Organic extracts should be consumed on a regular basis. Consume all plant food colors possible in a balanced manner.

No Ill Feelings
Hatred or ill feelings towards others reflects on our face. If we delete the bad memories, we would regain a childlike state of happiness.

Keep the Child in You Alive
Never get into the comfort zone. Never think that there is nothing else to do. We should keep the child in us alive by constantly indulging in meaningful activities that makes us happy. Keep on developing new hobbies.

Focus on De-Stressing
Stress can arise from three factors.
Genetic Disposition: We may be prone to certain genetic disorders like diabetes and hypertension. We should be very cautious about such problems and be aware of every minute change that our body displays. If our family history confirms such genetic tendencies, we should be very regular with our check-ups.
Lifestyle: Lifestyle disorders arise from negative habits like smoking, consumption of alcohol, watching too much TV and not eating on time. These result in stress. We should abhor these habits and focus on being physically active which would help in burning calories and staying fit.
Environment: Our offices, our homes, the pollution, our relationships etc. creates our environment. We should try to find out what exactly is pulling us down and then try to find a solution by talking to our peers and well wishers. Always try to look at the brighter side of things.

When under stress, the adrenal gland in our body produces cortisol, a hormone that increases our blood sugar and insulin levels and slows down the burning of fat. Stress increases inflammation which causes weight gain around the waist. We should fight stress by trying to keep our mind free from negatives.

Friends, who really care, are life long assets of an individual. They have the ability to make things better for you just by their physical presence beside you. Just by taking a look at their smiling faces, you would have a feeling that your worries are fading away.

Chuck the Routine
Life is not just about getting up in the morning, doing the same old stuff all day and then going off to sleep. Instead, listen to some heart warming music, watch a dance performance or go for a drive. Set aside time for daily exercise and relaxation. Do some stretching initially followed by deep breathing for five minutes and then meditation. This goes a long way in relieving mental stress.

Sleep Tight
Lack of sleep reflects on our face. It makes us age faster. We should try to sleep for at least six hours every night. And don’t forget to dream big!

All the Best !!!

Vaishali Parekh


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Filed under Healthy LifeStyle